


A man and his gnome

by SuddenlyDrunkBatman



Category: Fallout: New Vegas
Genre: Multi
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-04-11
Updated: 2015-07-08
Packaged: 2018-03-22 07:17:17
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 3,187
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3720001
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SuddenlyDrunkBatman/pseuds/SuddenlyDrunkBatman





	1. Chapter One

Chapter 1

 

Jarico grinned and aimed at Caesar's bald head, "Take this, Duckweed."

In one shot Caesar crumpled to the ground and the Legionaries scrambled around, looking for the gunner that took out their precious leader. 

Jarico ducked behind a rock and smiled down at his anti-materiel rifle, "Well this is it then, Caesar is dead and we should be leaving before they grow a brain bigger than a fucking sugar bomb and come up here."

He grabbed his beloved sniper rifle and ran away from the camp were Boone and Rex were waiting for him. 

Boone looked up and raised an eyebrow, "What? In a hurry to help Caesar?"

"Caesar's dead and the entirety of the legion is headed our way," Jarico called and looked back to see Boone and Rex following. 

The shouting from behind alerted them to the Legionaries behind them. That and the spears being thrown at them. 

When they hit Searchlight the ducked into the first house they saw, staying low and waiting by a window watching for the Legion. 

"If they don't kill us the radiation will," Boone whispered from next to him. 

Jarico threw a bottle of Rad-x at Boone, waving his hand and said, "Shhh, sneaky sneaks."

Boone sighed and took a few of the pills and took the breathing mask off his hip, nudging Jarico with his elbow and nodding at Ulysses' mask mask around his neck. 

Jarico took his riot helmet off and strapped on the mask and continued watching out the window. 

Rex started growling softly when the Legionaries walked past the window. The doorknob started rattling and Jarico ushered his companions into the bedroom and closed the door. 

Jarico smiled and unsheathed his bowie knife and Boone followed suit. The door opened and three Legionnaires walked in. 

Boone went for the last one in, Jarico attacked the middle one, and Rex killed the first one. 

When the bodies hit the floor Jarico went to work stripping the armor off one and gestured to the other one with a look at Boone. 

Boone looked sceptical but changed into the Legionare armor, their gear on the pack on Jarico's back. 

"How are we gonna explain Rex?" Boone asked and looked down at the cyberdog. 

"Uh..." Jarico looked down at the dog and Rex wagged his tail. "Let me do all the talking."

Boone shrugged and followed after Rex and Jarico, Rex in the middle. 

When they left a Centurion ran over. 

"Who is that dog?" He demanded. 

"The Courier's, it killed Fred," Jarico sighed and pulled out his Ranger Sequoia and shot the Centurion right in the face. 

Boone didn't question just pulled out his rifle and started firing. 

"This is suicide, Courier!" Boone shouted in between clips. 

"Not if we run!" Jarico yelled and started running in the opposite direction, away from the fighting and into the Mojave. The Legionnaires and his companions followed. 

The damn Legion followed them all the way to Novac. The town started fighting alongside the other three until the last of the Legionaries fell. 

Jarico tore off the Legion helmet he was wearing and dropped it, smiling. He quickly changed back into his Riot Gear and tossed Boone his armor. 

"I almost wanna do it again," Jarico said when Boone walked over to him. 

"No you don't," Boone sighed and shook his head. "You want to get to the outpost and get paid."

Jarico sighed, "Fine, I don't wanna have fun, I wanna be a boring loser like Boone and go get money."

"Damn right you do," Boone said and crossed his arms.


	2. Chapter Two

Chapter 2

 

Jarico swaggered into The Mojave Outpost and found Ranger Jackson standing with his arms crossed. 

"What the hell is wrong you! I told you to rough up a Legionary! Not kill Caesar!" Jackson yelled and clenched his fist. 

"Well you said send a message, I found a better message Jackeh," Jarico threw his hands in the air and spun, grinning the whole time. 

Boone backed away to stand and watch from the statues, Rex following slowly.

Jackson's face went red and he threw his hat at Jarico's face, "You're insane!"

"Yes!" Jarico laughed and caught the hat easily, dropping it on top of his helmet. 

Jackson threw a bag of bottle caps at him and stormed off. 

Jarico picked up the bag and turned to smile back at Boone who was just shaking his head. Jarico shrugged at him and danced over to the bar. 

He jumped onto a barstool next to a redhead in a cowboy hat and drinking whiskey, "Hey Sugarlumps, you gotta name?"

"Back off, unless you're lookin for trouble," She snapped and took a drink of her whiskey. 

"Just tell me your name and I will get you out fo this hell hole," Jarico grinned just as Jackson stormed in. 

"Novac?! You lead all the Cottonwood Cove to Novac?!" Jackson looked like he didn't even want to know or argue anymore about what happened. 

"Hey! It's not like I'm out there dancing on rainbows with unicorns! I'm savin the Mojave!" Jarico stood up and the stool flew out behind him. "And no one died...I...don't think?"

"Courier! You can't just lead the Legion to random towns and fight them!" Jackson yelled back before turning and storming out of the bar. 

"Jackeh? Jackeh come on!" Jarico yelled after him. "I got to shoot a Centurion in the face! Point blank!"

When Jackson didn't come back Jarico set his stool back up and pouted with his arms crossed. 

"You shot a Centurion? Then fought off Cottonwood Cove? Alone?" The redhead looked over and stared at him, eyes wide. 

"Weelll no not alone, I have Bonny and Rex," Jarico said and shrugged. 

Just then Boone and Rex walked into the bar and glared at Jarico. Well Rex didn't glare, but he looked disappointed, damn dog.

"I think we should go, Courier," Boone said as he walked over. "You got paid and there are some Caravans coming in."

"But I wanna bring the redhead along," Jarico pouted and looked back at the woman next to him.

"Name's Rose of Sharon Cassidy, but you just call me Cass. And if you got the balls to take on a Centurion and Cottonwood Cove, I think you could help me find out what happened to my caravan," Cass said and stood. "But you're friend's right, Courier, the way Jackson was yellin’? You pissed him off good."

"Jackeh's always pissy," Jarico said but stood, he was about to dance out of the bar but Boone grabbed his shoulders and steered him out of the building. 

When they were outside Jarico noticed a Garden Gnome on the back of a cart of one the Caravans. 

"Jefferson?!" Jarico tore free of Boone's hands and ran over to the cart, grabbing the Gnome. "Jefferson! It's been so long! Why are you here? Did you join the Caravans? Are you a mercenary?"

"Uh..." Cass walked up next to him but Boone just shook his head at her. 

"I will give you...THIS!" Jarico said and pulled out the bag of caps Jackson had thrown at him. 

The merchant looked down at the money and at Boone who reached out and handed them the correct amount of caps and dropped the caps back into Jarico's pack. 

Jarico cradled Jefferson to his chest and smiled down at him, "I missed you Jefferson, it's been too long, when was the last time we talked? The war?"

Cass looked over and Boone who just shook his head at her again. They started walking, Jarico still cradling Jefferson, Rex walking next to him, and Boone and Cass behind them. Cass looked confused but Boone just kept shaking his head every time she started to ask a question.


	3. Chapter Three

Chapter 3

 

Jarico walked into Freeside and headed to Mick and Ralph. Jefferson was in the pack on his back with just his head sticking out. It took him about a day or two to get from The Outpost to Freeside with Cass now following along too.

Nothing fun had happened along the way so he was going to get some work from someone in Freeside after he got his gear repaired. 

"Courier!" Mick said from the back of the shop and waved him over. 

"Hey, I need you to repair some of my stuff," Jarico said and handed over the damaged gear. 

"Sure, just wait here a second," Mick said and walked over to his secret room. 

Jarico leaned against the wall and watched Ralph flirt with Cass. He subconsciously tensed his jaw and shoulders. 

Mick came back and exchanged his gear for caps. Jarico nodded, thanked him, and walked towards the front door. 

"Come on Cass," Jarico walked between her and Ralph, cutting their conversation short. 

"What the hell!" Cass yelled and stalked after him. "We were talking."

"Were. Key word, you aren't anymore," Jarico said and walked out to Boone and handed him the gun had repaired. 

Boone nodded and slung the rifle over his shoulder, following the two as they argued. Well as Cass yelled and Jarico shot her down with sarcastic replies.

They argued until they got to the Atomic Wrangler and Jarico turned to Boone, "Okay, I'm gonna go find us some work. I'll be right back out."

Cass was about to follow but Boone grabbed her arm and shook his head.

Both the Garret twins were standing behind the bar. Jarico walked over to James and leaned on the bar. 

"Need any work done, Jimmy?" Jarico asked. 

"Some of our clients have a more...peculiar, taste. I have requests for a ghoul cowboy, a suave talker, and a sexbot," James said quickly. 

"Can do, Jarico the Pimp," Jarico said and smiled but turned to James and crossed his arms. "Well I will need at least double for these."

"Double?! What for!" James set the glass he was drying down and stared at Jarico.

"A sexbot? Really? Where the fuck do I find one of those? Double or nothing," Jarico leaned in closer and stared James down.

James finally sighed and nodded, "Fine, double."

"Great, thank you my fine Jimmy," Jarico said and bowed while walking backwards.


	4. Chapter Four

Chapter 4

Jarico put one more bullet in the nutty old bat's head and holstered his Ranger Sequoia, replacing it with Jefferson. 

"What the hell was..." Boone started but turned and saw Jefferson in Jarico's arm and sighed. "Shit."

It had taken them a few days to locate a sexbot for the Garret's but there should be a bot inside the Cerulean Robotics building that would work, Ralph has given them a holotape to load onto the robot and everything!

"Well Jefferson, homicidal old women, haven't seen those since the war," Jarico looked down at one of the bodies and sighed. "Secret weapons, always turning the tables. Seems they've forgotten their training."

Cass had stopped asking questions after spending a week in the Mojave with Jarico looking for a sexbot and killing random...anything. They killed anything. And Boone never asked, just went with it. Though, she had to admit, Jarico was pretty fun. Sane or not.

Jarico adopted his typical swagger as he headed towards the Cerulean Robotics' door. Inside there were few giant rats that Jarico ignored and let the other three deal with and just headed straight for the sealed protectron. 

He pressed buttons on the terminal at random and hoped for the best. When the chamber opened he clapped excitedly. 

"Fully Integrated Security Technotronic Officer, reporting for duty," The robot said and swiveled a little. 

"Hmm no..." Jarico said and cocked his head towards Jefferson. "Completely right Jefferson, Fisto. You're name is Fisto."

"Yes sir, Fisto, reporting for duty, assume the position," Fisto said. 

Boone started laughing as Cass looked horrified and cautiously asked, "You...you aren't actually gonna fuck that thing? Are you?"

"What?! No!" Jarico yelled and looked down at Jefferson. "No Jefferson! I don't care about what I did during the war! That was different! I'm not fucking the robot!" Jarico turned to Fisto and pointed towards the door. "Report to the Atomic Wrangler."

"Yes sir, reporting to the Atomic Wrangler," Fisto said and started walking towards the door. 

Boone walked away and stood in the corner, laughing hysterically. 

"No sugarlumps, only you," Jarico smirked and winked before swaggering off after the robot, talking to Jefferson the whole time.


	5. Chapter Five

Chapter 5

 

They had spent a week in the Lucky 38, no work to be found. Jarico was bored enough to actually seek attention from Boone and Cass, instead of just Jefferson. 

Boone had taken Rex and went to visit some mysterious figure he had taken a liking to while they were there.

Cass had walked in to find Jarico reading a random book...upside down.

He looked up and smiled at her, "Hey Cass, what's up? Miss Rex? I do too."

"Not Boone?" Cass asked and grinned. 

"Shit Boone's gone too? No wonder things have been so quiet," Jarico smirked and closed the book reaching to hand it to Jefferson. "Come on you lazy shit, take the damn book!"

When Jefferson still didn't take the book he tossed it at the Gnome, missing and hitting the wall. 

"I wanted to ask you about what you said at Cerulean Robotics. You said only you before you left?" Cass asked and cocked her head. 

"Uh... Did I? Hmm who knows..." Jarico said and scratched his beard. "No shut up Jefferson."

Cass just chuckled and grinned, "See, I think you meant, you only had eyes for me. But thats not right, we've known each other two weeks...and you're a lunatic."

"Uhhh..." Jarico sat up and coughed. "Do you? Hmm am I? No shut your whore mouth Jefferson."

"I do, you are," Cass said and crawled up the bed to straddle his hips.

He was just wearing his riot duster so his hat was next to Jefferson across the room. 

Jarico cleared his throat and Cass smiled and pressed her lips against his. She started removing his armor piece by piece, only moving away to kiss down his chest. 

Jarico cleared his throat again as Cass nuzzled his erection through his underwear. She rubbed her hand along the length of his cock and under the waistband of his underwear and wrapped her hand around the shaft and pulled the underwear down. 

Jarico threw his head back and moaned lowly as Cass leaned down and licked a strip up the underside of his cock and wrapped her mouth around the head, sucking softly and flicking her tongue against the slit. 

Jarico fisted the bed sheet and his breathing increased as Cass slowly sucked her way down the length of his cock until it hit the back of her throat and she hollowed out her cheeks and swallowed. 

She bobbed her head head along his cock, every once in a while swallowing around it. 

She stopped about halfway and swirled her tongue around the head, working her hand where he mouth wasn't. 

Jarico tensed and opened his mouth in a silent moan as he came, Cass sitting back as she swallowed and smiled. 

"Well, only you too," She chuckled and curled up with her head on his shoulder.


	6. Chapter Six

Chapter 6

 

Boone froze as they approached the Mormon Fort, “Hey, Courier...I should, uh, go see about…”

“Go see about?” Jarico spun around and arched his brow at the sniper. 

Cass cocked her head and watched Boone from her place next to Jarico. 

“Uh…” Boone coughed. “There’s just something I need...to do…”

“Which is?” Cass asked. 

Jarico opened his mouth to speak when the Fort’s door slid open. 

“Boone?” A male voice called out from behind them. 

The color drained from Boone’s face and he crossed his arms. 

A blonde man in a doctor’s coat stood in front of the Fort. 

Rex barked and wagged his tail, trotting over to the man. 

“Hey old boy. How’s your brain?” The blonde man crouched and scratched Rex’s ears.

Rex barked happily and licked his face. 

“Soooo Bonny,” Jarico smirked. 

“Might this be the mysterious lover?” Cass chuckled and looped her arm through Jarico’s.

Boone opened and closed his mouth. He cleared his throat and crossed his arms, “This is Arcade Gannon. Arcade, this is the Courier, and his girlfriend Cass.”

“Pleasure,” Arcade smiled kindly. “I’ve heard quite a bit about you from Boone.”

“We have heard absolutely nothing about you, Blondy,” Cass grinned. 

Boone coughed and looked away from Jarico's suggestive grin. 

"Bonny," Jarico sung. 

Boone crossed his arms again and focused on the ground. 

"Soooo...are you the mystery fuck?" Jarico cocked his head. 

"Courier!" Boone hissed. 

Arcade chuckled and met Boone's eyes, his own sparkling with amusement. 

"You should come with us," Cass smirked. 

Boone's head snapped up, "I don't think-"

"Yes!" Jarico clapped. "Well said Jefferson, we DO need a doctor with actual training." 

"Courier-" Boone protested?

"What do you say, Blondy?" Cass asked sweetly. 

Arcade grinned and met Boone's eyes, then looked at Jarico, "I would LOVE to come." 

"Great! Now all we need to do is get a sexy ghoul cowboy and Jefferson said there's someone perfect for the job in the fort," Jarico swaggered to the door. 

Boone fell into step next to Arcade and watched him from the corner of his eye, catching the smirk playing on his lips. "Asshole."


	7. Chapter Seven

Chapter 7

 

Jarico stumbles through a few halfhearted negotiations with Santiago about working for the Garrets before just threatening the man. 

When Santiago jogs in the direction of The Wrangler he finally walks over to the other three. 

"We should head to...?" Jarico furrows his eyebrows and looks down at the robot dog sitting next to Cass. 

"Jacobstown?" Arcade offers. 

"Yes, there," Jarico nodded. 

"Should we head to the wrangler and get paid first?" Boone asked from his place beside Arcade. 

"Nah, let's just head out. We can go when we get back. We have..." Jarico patted for his caps and looked up at Boone. 

Boone held up a cloth bag jingling with caps, "8000."

"Yeah we're good for a bit," Jarico said and headed for the gate. 

"We can't afford a detour to the Gun Runners," Boone said and hooked the caps back on his belt. 

Jarico huffed and pouted, "Why are you in charge of our caps again?" 

Boone just rolled his eyes as Cass and Arcade chuckled. 

They walked the rest of the way to the Freeside gate silently. 

Cass and Jarico led the group, Arcade and Boone walked next to each other in the middle, and Rex brought up the rear. 

They made it all the way to Camp McCarran before Cass said something.

"It's getting pretty late, why don't we head to the El Rey Motel for the night," she leaned over and whispered in Jarico's ear.

His eyes widened and he just stared at her. 

Boone put his hand on the small of Arcade's back and lead him to one of the open rooms. 

Rex followed Jarico and Cass up the steps to their room.

Both couples closed the doors and did everything except sleep.


End file.
